New Teacher Diaries
Home life often complicates school success
Dec 7, 2006 1:24 PM
I’m pretty far into my second year of teaching, and I am so overwhelmed.
Since September, I have been teaching 8th-grade ELA/literacy in a middle school in the South Bronx. It seems like I’m struggling every day to keep the children motivated and focused. I have two classes, and I teach 20 periods of ELA/literacy a week. The workload doesn’t bother me. I believe it’s the norm across the city. I guess I shouldn’t be upset by the fact that I have 35 kids in each class. That also seems to be the norm across the city in middle schools.
But when you factor in the kids’ lack of motivation, enthusiasm and confidence as well as outside factors, my job becomes less about actually teaching content and more about trying to teach self-esteem, courage and strength.
For instance, I have a student whom I’ll call “Anne Marie.” I think Anne Marie is a bright girl, but she has serious emotional issues. Apparently, she has been dealing with a multitude of things since 5th grade. I was told about her situation a week or so into the school year and was advised to treat her “with kid gloves.” I thought that she warmed up to me early on, but then she started acting out in class. She would go off on me or other students and just run out of the room and roam the hallways. I tried to discipline, her to no avail. Then I learned from my principal that Anne Marie does not know how to read and write and has never learned. I tried to put myself in her shoes: How and why would you want to be in school if you can’t read or write? I thought her outbursts were directed at me, but then I realized that she is embarrassed and upset by the fact that she can’t read and she’s about to go to high school.
I have several kids who are several grades below grade level in one of my classes. How am I going to teach them the skills they need not only to do well in 8th grade, but to prepare them for high school? I don’t know, and I have been struggling with finding ways of doing this.
In both classes, I have kids who have told me that they just don’t care about school. I try to explain to them that there are many positive benefits to being in school. But I hear them say that they believe they have no chance of success because they have no positive role models at home. Some have very serious and problematic home lives.
I have one student who is withdrawn and never speaks in class. I finally asked him what was going on. He told me that he’s dealing with the possibility of his family being evicted from their apartment. His parents haven’t been able to pay the rent for months because neither of them holds a steady job. I didn’t know what to say. I asked him if he had a relative he could live with while his parents straightened out their living situation. He said he already has been living with his grandmother for the past year. What can you say to that? What can you possibly say about coping to a kid who is dealing with that kind of family crisis?
I’m frightened because I love my kids and I have no idea how to keep them motivated. I worry that given all the issues they face as middle school students in this particular neighborhood, they may not reach their full potential.
BXMS Teacher is a pseudonym for a second-year teacher. A version of this post first appeared on the UFT blog, edwize.org, where “New Teacher Diaries” is a regular feature. We want to recruit more new teachers to chronicle their experience in the New York City public schools on the blog, and for the New York Teacher. If you’re interested in contributing, send an e-mail to blog@uft.org.
