Mary Murphy has been a certified teacher in the Living for the Young Family through Education program for 17 years. Since last year, she’s been at Port Richmond HS in Staten Island. LYFE provides child care for teen parents enrolled in high school or the GED program and helps them learn parenting skills as well.

How did you get involved with the LYFE program?

I don’t have children of my own, but I’ve always enjoyed working with children. I was a day care director, then a supervisor of day care centers for a number of years. I wanted to stay in the field but try something new. A friend put me in touch with someone who turned out to be one of my former teachers at St. Joseph’s College in Brooklyn, who was working at the LYFE program. Her name was Joan Davis. She remembered me and we spoke for a while. She was phenomenal. I learned so much from her.

What is one thing you learned from her?

I learned to really look at the whole child, not just one thing, not just the weaknesses. Just really looking at the whole child and bringing out the best in children because they can make something of themselves.

What does the LYFE space at Port Richmond HS look like?

We have two rooms with a kitchen on the ground level of the high school. It’s bright with a lot of colors. The children’s artwork is up all over the room. It’s a nice early childhood classroom. Teen parent instruction happens in that space, too, but sometimes we use a classroom.

How does your day unfold?

Around 7:45 a.m., teen parents start coming with their children. They come into the school entrance, go straight to the LYFE rooms and drop the children off. We take children from two months to three years of age. There’s a lot of hugging and holding. We tell them mommy and daddy always come back and let them hold pictures of them. Sometimes the parents cry, too, but they can stop by between classes to see the child.

We have a routine for the children. We have breakfast for them. They have free play time, or they can join in a formal art activity. If I’m doing a craft and two children want to sit and look at picture books, they can. Or they can play in the pretend-play area, which has a “kitchen,” or they can play with building blocks and puzzles. We don’t force the children to do any one activity. We have four paraprofessionals to help out.

My day typically ends when school is out. We stay later if the parent wants to attend something at the school. We can work it out.

What is your interaction with parents like?

A lot of it occurs as they come in the morning and leave in the afternoon. We teach parenting skills and what to expect from their child — for example, not expecting 1st-grade reading from a 2-year-old. It’s not always in a workshop setting. It’s ongoing, daily communication. It can be a quick five-minute conversation. Or it can be a formal workshop, set up in advance, on nutrition, child safety in the home, childhood illnesses.

Is it difficult to switch gears between young children and teen parents?

In a lot of ways, the issues are the same. The approaches are the same, because the teens are still children in some ways. They’re still young themselves, but they have adult responsibilities.

How has the work changed over the last 17 years?

We have a lot more dads involved, which is really nice. They’re more involved with the children.

What are some of the challenges you face?

You want to provide services for every student who needs them, but we don’t have the resources to do that. The sheer number of people who want to be in the program makes it difficult. I have 14 infants and toddlers in my program.

How do you build trust with teen parents?

You have to approach them with an attitude that you’re not looking down at them because they have a baby. It has to be, “Let’s work together and see what you can do.” One of the major ways to connect with them is to start with the baby. If you can be nurturing to the child and bond with that child, that helps with the parent. If you show that you care about their children and will do everything to keep them safe, they’ll respond. And you have to let the parents know that they are the most important person in the child’s life and no one can take their place.

— as told to Linda Ocasio