A classroom community should be a safe and positive place for children to learn and play together. Building a classroom community — the cornerstone of any successful early childhood education program — goes far beyond learning names and class rules. It is the internalization of the idea that our classroom and its members are connected, that one person’s actions affect others and that we are a group that works together.

A big part of building a successful classroom community is figuring out how to make children more aware of their feelings. In my experience as an early childhood educator, most children have a limited repertoire of “feeling” words: happy, sad and mad. While these are three valid emotions, there are many other feelings that children should understand in order to fully comprehend how they are feeling and why.

It’s through this multifaceted understanding of their emotions that children are better able to talk about and understand their own feelings and what precipitated them, as well as to react to their peers’ feelings in a more empathetic manner.

We know that most children are not naturally empathetic. In fact, one might argue that children can be emotionally narcissistic; they are unable to see another’s perspective. Teaching empathy might sound strange, but research suggests that empathy is a complex phenomenon involving several skills: a sense of self-awareness and the ability to distinguish one’s own feelings from the feelings of others; taking another person’s viewpoint; and being able to regulate one’s own emotional responses. This may seem like a tall order for a kindergartner, but exposure, not mastery, is the goal with community building.

One way I teach empathy is through Vivian Paley’s storytelling and drama method. Story dramas are activities in which children act out their own dictated stories. Each child has a notebook where they can write on their own if they are able to do so, or I take dictation for them. Relieving children of the stress of phonetically spelling words and allowing them to focus solely on the quality of the stories is very powerful.

When the children act out their stories with their classmates, they enthusiastically adopt their roles by using sound effects, exaggerated body movements and facial expressions, all while playing to an audience and working with their fellow actors. Drama can help students to problem-solve, deal with conflict, collaborate with classmates, conquer fears, regulate emotions and build empathy.

Another way I support my students’ emotional IQ is through class meetings. Conflict is inevitable in every classroom, whether it is over being first at something, invading another child’s personal space or taking someone else’s property. Using classroom meetings to solve these problems allows teachers to turn these events into teachable moments rather than to just impart consequences without lessons.

Holding classroom meetings for such events sends the message, “In this classroom, we don’t see problems as confirmation that something bad is happening. We have the power to solve our problems as a community.” Classroom meetings give children the opportunity to practice the skills of exchanging ideas and listening to one another.

I have recently come across a unique social and emotional program called Kimochis. “Kimochi” means “feelings” in Japanese. The Kimochis Keys to Communication provides children with words and actions that promote social and emotional development, support positive behavior and contribute to academic success. The strategies in this program help children to listen, speak and act in ways that foster healthy and productive communication with each other, even in challenging social situations.

The Kimochis program is a prevention and intervention tool that will help to build a strong, mutually respectful, safe and inclusive school community. It takes less than 20 minutes to use, and the kids love it. It’s pricey, but it’s worth taking the time to write a quick Donors Choose grant request.

Ultimately, the building blocks of successful community building are in your hands, and you really do not need many bells and whistles. You can welcome children to your classroom community by holding daily class meetings to share ideas and discuss important issues, helping children relate positively to others and teaching children to solve problems and resolve conflicts peacefully.