February, which comes midway between winter and spring, is a time for enjoying the coziness of the indoors and the cold beauty of the outdoors. And halfway through the month, Valentine’s Day arrives, a holiday focused on romantic love. But there are many kinds of love to celebrate, including the love of family, friends, community and affinity groups. 

The longest relationship any of us will have, however, is with ourselves. It’s worth putting time and energy into that relationship and celebrating yourself. Start by building your self-love, which encompasses appreciating and respecting yourself, treating yourself well and not neglecting your own needs. 

Cultivating self-love 

Are you kind to yourself? Imagine a friend coming to you with a problem. Is your inner voice as kind to yourself as you would be when speaking to a loved one? If not, work on improving your self-talk and giving yourself the same thoughtfulness and care you would another. 

Focus on your strengths, the contributions you’ve made to others and things that bring you joy. When you’re feeling critical of yourself, try replacing negative with positive thoughts about your abilities — including the ability to learn and grow — and remind yourself to be on your own team. 

Build self-care routines into your daily life. That may be as simple as doing your stretches and exercises first thing in the morning, getting enough sleep and meditating, or as complex as pursuing an art form that appeals to you, whether that’s fine art, writing, photography, dance or something else entirely. 

If you find yourself ruminating on failures and disappointments, remember that everyone fails at times; it is merely a sign of your humanity. What matters more is perseverance in the face of disappointment, the ability to learn from one’s mistakes, continuing toward your goal and being able to apologize if you’ve wronged someone. 

Let your inner values be your compass 

Focus on your values, and let those be your guide. If you simply “trust your gut,” you can end up making poor decisions. After all, feelings can and will change over time, but if your choices are anchored in your core values, your decision-making will be more straightforward and the outcome ultimately more rewarding. 

Setting healthy boundaries for yourself is the ultimate form of self-love. This means saying no to colleagues, friends and family on occasion. That can be hard to do, especially if you are averse to conflict. But it’s harder to live without boundaries: you will find yourself angry and resentful if you don’t stand up for your own needs. Enforcing healthy boundaries is a form of self-advocacy and an expression of self-love. It fosters an environment in which you can thrive. 

Embrace your unique journey 

“Romanticizing your life” is a popular trend on social media. It encompasses the ideas of celebrating yourself and appreciating the good things you have, even the simple, mundane things. 

It’s about slowing down and taking the time to do just one thing at a time: really enjoying that morning coffee, hot shower and whatever else brings you happiness. During the pandemic, many people turned inward and developed new skills, such as cooking or gardening. They learned to more fully appreciate the present moment and find the beauty in small moments. 

Also trending on social media are videos with the hashtag “main character energy,” now generating billions of views. It’s not about being narcissistic (although it may sound that way), but about realizing that you are the protagonist of your life story. 

It means realizing your own agency in life: setting your agenda and working to make it happen. In a world that often pushes a one-size-fits-all conformity, setting your own agenda can be a radical act. To embrace the concept, appreciate the strengths and quirks that make you unique and work toward expressing your authenticity and living a life that feels true to your passions and interests.